How perceptive are you to your experiences and surroundings? Would you compare yourself more to an orchid, which requires a specific atmosphere to thrive? a dandelion, which sprouts almost everywhere? Or perhaps a tulip in the middle of those two options? Why?
Is your child more like a dandelion, an orchid, or a tulip? Richard Schiffman discusses the variety of sensitivity people have to the world around them in his writings about highly sensitive children:
Children that are sensitive are good observers of the world, yet they frequently become overstimulated. They frequently have strong inner lives and are quite creative, but they are cautious about unfamiliar people and situations.
They are very adept at picking up on other people’s emotions and suffering. Because of their sensitivity, sensitive kids often gain the trust of their peers and occasionally even adults. Later in adulthood, they frequently choose to work in helpful fields like nursing and counseling, where their innate talents are put to good use.
According to research psychologist Elaine Aron, whose 1996 book “The Highly Sensitive Person” popularized the phrase, around one in five kids are highly sensitive. A 23-question test created by Dr. Aron is frequently used to help evaluate whether or not a child is extremely sensitive.
She claims that highly sensitive people have a hard-wired disposition of sensitivity that lasts their entire lives. Professor of developmental psychology at Queen Mary University of London, Michael Pluess, has discovered that our life experiences, particularly those from early on, have a significant influence.
We discovered that genetic and environmental factors, particularly the prenatal environment, account for around 50% of individual variability in sensitivity, according to Dr. Pluess.
According to him, people can be divided roughly into three groups: those who are highly sensitive, or “orchids,” beautiful flowers that require very specific environments to thrive; those who are hardy, or “dandelions,” which can grow almost anywhere; and those who are in the middle, or “the largest” tulips, who fall somewhere between the two extremes of the sensitivity scale.
Dr. Pluess clarified, “These are diverse personalities, each with their own specific strengths and weaknesses. The notion is not that one is better and one is worse.
In order for the youngster to acquire a positive perspective of what they are good at, it is crucial to continuously convey to them that their sensitivity is not a weakness.
An orchid person is what?
We are either dandelions or orchids, my grandmother once told me. She clarified that some of us are like dandelions and some of us are like orchids, just like the flowers, because I wasn’t really sure what she meant.
I came up with my own explanation of what my grandmother was referring to:
Dandelions
This kind of person can flourish anywhere, in the roughest of conditions, and can essentially “bounce back easily.” They are also less sensitive and strong-minded. “Dandelions can get trampled all over and they just sprout back up,” my grandmother added. In other words, they are simply robust and less emotionally complex.
Orchids
Highly sensitive, they might be challenging to care for or understand, but under the right conditions, they can flourish. These people need careful and targeted care because they tend to be more “fickle.” In other words, they are probably more sensitive, empathic, and emotional.
My initial reaction after this conversation was that I most definitely am an orchid. I believe I am very complicated, somewhat fickle, and highly sensitive. However, I continued to think and began to consider how I approach challenges or adversity as well as my emotions and sensitivities.
I discovered through my reflection and investigation that I identify as both an orchid and a dandelion.
I’ll explain. If I were to sum up how I’m feeling right now, I’d say that there’s an orchid at my core—a very delicate, focused area of me that needs a lot of attention. a very sympathetic, delicate, and difficult aspect.
In spite of this, I believe that I have dandelion allies that guard me from harm—whether they are real dandelion allies or psychological allies—and who are there to guard my orchid.
After doing some research on this subject, I found that numerous psychologists, researchers, and doctors are currently conducting or have previously conducted studies related to children’s health, mental health, and other topics.
The article “Raising an Orchid Child in a Dandelion World,” written by Motherly, is fantastic for parents. This is another another wonderful way to look at the idea of children and some of the worries and difficulties that come with an Orchid child as opposed to a Dandelion child.
I believe that the society we live in is designed for a dandelion, and this essay does a good job of explaining that to new or experienced parents. Having said that, I think this idea is incredibly applicable to adults as well and goes beyond just children. It can help people understand how to take better care of themselves or even how they perceive the world and its callousness.
After doing more research, I discovered a second Today story titled “Is your child a Tulip?,” which describes a third type of youngster, a Tulip—which I’m going to refer to as having a distinct type of personality.
Tulipssomeone with sensitivity levels somewhere in the middle. They are resilient like dandelions and delicate like orchids.
Maybe I’m a Tulip? My track record, my life, the struggles and adversity that I have overcame tell me that I have the capacity to thrive in harsh or difficult circumstances, despite the fact that I don’t really feel like I am extremely “hearty and can just thrive in any circumstance.
Although I don’t think this is my natural temperament and overcoming some challenges has been very difficult for me, I managed to accomplish it and I think I may have picked up how to make dandelions in the process to assist defend my orchid.
It’s possible that I am a self-made Tulip who has learned and is constantly learning how to set up the boundaries for my Orchid so that the tough Dandelions can support me while I take on the world, my career, and my personal life.
I think we have the ability to be both an Orchid and a Dandelion, but one type comes more naturally to us than the other, and it could be necessary for us to develop new abilities or skills that are not in our natural state.
Whatever the case, I believe that these personality tests can help us better understand how to take care of our loved ones and ourselves, as well as our families, kids, and other important people in our life.
Why? I suppose that if we are able to identify a particular personality type, we may modify the environment to allow for such emotions, reactions, and development.
When it comes to Orchids, who are typically more introverted and creative, providing a workplace that respects their sensitivities can result in high-level performance results, in contrast to Dandelions, who can flourish in most surroundings.
These individuals are strong and capable of supporting dandelions while also teaching dandelions about the delicate, compassionate character of orchids. It may be more natural for Orchids to be good at empathizing with people, a strong skill set that is essential for excellent leaders.
Moreover, we provide a secure environment for development. As I previously stated, I think we have the potential to be both an Orchid and a Dandelion, and both are very beneficial in the workplace.
Understanding Orchids and Dandelions as distinct employee types, in my opinion, can aid in career placement, professional development, and work-life balance.
putting an emphasis on people’s inherent talents and sensibilities while cultivating surroundings that support their development. By doing this, we all succeed and enjoy more health, prosperity, and happiness.
rather than attempting to shape or modify people into something that undercuts their positive traits and doesn’t fit them or their strengths. This is “trying to fit square pegs in round holes, which historically does not work,” as the saying goes.
Is your kid more like an orchid or a dandelion?
The majority of dandelion kids are usually resilient and able to handle challenges.
Orchid children are rare, more sensitive to both positive and negative situations, biologically reactive to their environment, and have a hard time with stress.
In a lab setting, Boyce identified two main stress response systems in kids. Cortisol, which has “profound impacts on both immunological function and cardiovascular functioning,” was one of the stress hormones that was examined. The autonomic nervous system, also known as the “fight-or-flight” system, was the second stress response mechanism.
Children were instructed to complete a series of somewhat difficult tasks by a lab assistant. For instance, placing lemon juice on their tongue or reciting three, four, and then five numerals.
Boyce stated, “We discovered that there were significant variances (among) children. “There were some children at the high end of the spectrum who exhibited tremendous reactivity in the fight-or-flight system as well as the cortisol system, and there were other children who had essentially no physiologic response to the difficulties that we provided to them,” said the researcher.
A dandelion, are you?
Have you ever thought about how certain people seem to be naturally extremely resilient? They flourish no matter what challenges life throws at them. Conversely, some people have very high sensitivity levels. They can become unbalanced by even little stresses, yet in the correct setting, they can flourish.
These features in kids have been the subject of scientific research. The really tough kids are called dandelions, whereas the extremely delicate kids are called orchids. According to studies, 20% of kids fall at either end of the resilience/sensitivity spectrum, with the majority falling somewhere in the middle (nicknamed “tulips).
On a scale of 1 to 7, with 7 representing “very agree,” how strongly do you agree with each of these claims?
I feel uncomfortable when someone is watching me. I do poorer than usual as a result of this.
The more points you receive, the more likely it is that you are an orchid, which is highly sensitive to your surroundings. The lower your score, the more likely it is that you are a dandelion, which is extremely hardy and adaptable. With a score in the middle, you are probably a flower.
Two students, an orchid and a dandelion, could handle the same circumstance differently, according to the author of a new article about orchids and dandelions created for college students to help them comprehend these features. Can you spot yourself in either of the students?
“Consider the scene below: Orchy the orchid is present at a significant committee meeting for a brand-new Student Affairs project. At the same table is Dan the dandelion.
Dan considers the meeting papers as they are being introduced as the meeting is called to order. He checks the order of his speaking notes by flipping through them. While shifting his focus to the speaker who is opening the meeting and outlining the difficulties, he wonders what is for lunch and pats his growling stomach in anticipation. He feels ready, at ease, and a touch peckish.
Orchy sits down as the meeting is called to order. She observes that the air conditioning unit seems unusually loud today. She might be seated next to a vent. Orchy acknowledges how much more comfy the new conference chairs are compared to the old ones and grinned at her tablemates. As Aisha and Chen gently wrap up their chat, she notices their wide smiles and gets a small jolt of excitement and interest about whatever fascinating topics they might be debating.
Orchy observes the committee chair give her a quick glance, hesitate, and then turn his focus to Dan, who is leafing through documents, before he starts lightly massaging his tummy. Dan might be experiencing stress or illness. The team leader’s brow wrinkles for a brief period before relaxing. Interesting. Orchy is feeling a little chilly, interested in fresh ideas and directions, a little worried about Dan, and a little anxious about upcoming deadlines. She pauses, sets aside other ideas, draws a deep breath, and pays close attention to the speaker who is starting to lay out the problems.
Do you see yourself in Dan the dandelion or Orchy the orchid? Or perhaps Toni the Tulip describes you as being in the middle.
Whether these variations in resiliency/sensitivity are caused by genetics or environment has been a subject of debate for a long time.
Pediatrician Dr. W. Thomas Boyce explains studies proving that these disparities in resilience can be noticed right away after birth in a new book titled “The Orchid and the Dandelion.” Some infants are more likely to initiate the fight, flight, or freeze response (the survival brain I’ve discussed in past postings).
Dr. Boyce draws the conclusion that, as with many qualities, genes and the environment (particularly the prenatal environment of the womb) play a role in determining whether people are dandelions, orchids, or tulips after analyzing the most recent data.
Orchids confront various difficulties because they have a propensity for illness and psychological issues. They also possess some special talents for sensitivity.
Is it inevitable that someone who is an orchid will be overly sensitive and more prone to illness? The clear answer is no, as we now know. You can actually remodel your brain’s physical components to make it more resilient. We can all become more resilient, and I’ll go over several strategies in my following blog piece.
Do you consider yourself to be a dandelion, an orchid, or a tulip? Please respond and let me know.